Headlines

School Bans the Word ‘Easter’

“Kids love the bunny and we just make sure we don’t say ‘the Easter Bunny’ so that we don’t infringe on the rights of others because people relate the Easter bunny to religion,” she told the television station.

People relate the Easter bunny to religion?  Which religion?  Cuz, you know, that sounds like my kind of religion.  I guess I can kind of see how someone might get upset about all that worshiping bunnies, though.

How the Higgs Boson Might Spell Doom for the Universe

Steinhardt says, "There is a tiny sliver of metastability. Why is the universe just at this point? Is this actually a profound thing we have to understand?"

No.  In fact, look around.  Turns out, we really don't, and apparently don't need to, understand anything, much less anything profound. We only think we do.

You've got to keep your bosses entertained

Oxford librarian sacked over Harlem Shake at St Hilda's College 

All the students who had been identified as taking part in the video have been fined by the Dean and a librarian and graduate student, Calypso Nash, sacked for not preventing the Harlem Shake taking place.

Yeah, cuz, you know, it upset some of the senior staff.  We can't be upsetting people.  I'm just not sure what's to get upset about, other than I think it's a somewhat ridiculous thing to do.  The whole thing lasted 7 minutes according to the article, it happened after the library was closed, and the librarian who was fired didn't take part in the video.  She just didn't stop it.  Of course, the video would have been much more entertaining if the librarian really had attempted to stop the students, and maybe the librarian wouldn't have been fired.  So, the way I see it, the librarian was fired because she allowed a not entertaining enough video being made in the library.

China gets all the good stuff

McDonald's China releases Sausage Double Beef Burgers

It's two beef patties and two plump sausages drizzled with mustard --oh, and a bun.

And the price tag of $2.82 sounds like a bargain.  Yeah, we'll never see that here in the U.S.  I wouldn't be surprised to find out that New York is already working on outlawing them.

Some things don't really belong in the news

'Zip-related genital injuries' send thousands of men to ER each year 

Today, paying attention is the best way to prevent it. Wearing underwear helps, too.

Nah.  The best way to prevent this problem is to wear button fly pants.  And, my solution has the added advantage of being cooler.  But then, what do I know?  I didn't do a big fancy study on the subject.

Funny stuff

Unfortunately, I happened on this because someone was complaining.  I suspect Jesus himself would appreciate the humor.

The week in news

Drunken driver sues buddy, New Mexico restaurants

"Ruiz said in his suit that he was convicted and incarcerated due to the chain of events the defendants set in motion."

Yeah, like his friend said, "Let's go get something to eat."  And then the waiter said, "Would you like something to drink with that?"

"Ruiz was out on bond on his fifth DWI arrest when the fatal crash took place, authorities said."

Turns out, he really should be suing whoever let him out on bond.  If they hadn't done that, none of this would have happened.  Case closed!

Oklahoma crowd stunned by wrong-basket buzzer-beater

"... all Hugo High School had to do was inbound the basketball and run out the clock to advance in the Oklahoma state boys' basketball tournament."

But,

"Hugo guard Trey Johnson got confused after he received the inbounds pass and laid the ball into the wrong basket just before time expired, giving the opposing team, Millwood High, a 38-37 win Thursday night and a place in the Class 3A semifinals."

Cuz, basketball is hard like that.  Actually, I do feel bad for the kid, though.


North Korea rejects UN demands, vows to become 'nuclear weapons state'

 

It's funny, and it's not so funny.

 

Global Temperatures Highest in 4,000 Years 

Scientists say that if natural factors were still governing the climate, the Northern Hemisphere would probably be destined to freeze over again in several thousand years. “We were on this downward slope, presumably going back toward another ice age,” Dr. Marcott said.

Instead, scientists believe the enormous increase in greenhouse gases caused by industrialization will almost certainly prevent that.

 So, we're preventing another ice age?  Awesome!

Man accused of downloading child pornography in college library says he has shared images for years

"The problem is tough to police because of the imperfect nature of Internet filtering devices and pushback from free-speech advocates who believe adults should have the right to view adult pornography in libraries..."

 Doesn't anyone see anything wrong with anyone viewing any kind of pornography in public?  I really don't like the idea that the guy next to me might be, well, you know.  Do that stuff in private.  And what does this have to do with free speech?  Perhaps posting pornography could be interpreted as free speech, but downloading it?  Not so much.

News

'Non-lethal round' fired at Gitmo detainees in soccer field incident, US military confirms

"On his first full day in office in January 2009, President Barack Obama vowed to close Guantanamo, but he has been blocked from doing so by Congress, leaving most of the 166 detainees remaining there in perpetual limbo – even though at least 55 of them have been publicly cleared for release by an administration task force consisting of U.S. intelligence agencies.

The shooting incident, first reported by the Miami Herald, occurred on the grounds of a new $744,000 soccer and recreation field that was opened last year and touted by base officials as an example of new and more permissive conditions at the facility."

So, about a third of the people in Guantanamo have been cleared, but they're still detained there.  Of course, the do have that cool new soccer and recreation field, so what's the beef?

Meanwhile,

Bin Laden's son-in-law captured, charged in US with conspiring to kill Americans

"But two fellow Republicans, Sens. Lindsey Graham and Kelly Ayotte, said Thursday the Obama administration's decision to bring Abu Ghaith to court in New York is wrong, "sneaky" and against the will of Congress."

Cuz, you know, I hear he's quite the soccer player.

Justin Bieber faints during concert in London

"Pop star Justin Bieber became woozy during a concert at London's O2 Arena Thursday, NBC News confirms."

The guy acts like he's always "woozy" so what's the news here?