Growing up too fast?

When I was a kid, I remember adults always talking about how fast kids have to grow up. Even now, I don’t really know what the fuss was all about, but I’m still seeing all kinds of adults saying that kids need to grow up too fast these days, or, at least that kids want to grow up too fast. Now that’s something I can relate to. I doubt there’s ever been a time when kids didn’t want to grow up because of all the neat stuff adults get to do. Then again, kids don’t really want to grow up because they don’t want to take on all the responsibilities that go along with doing all that neat stuff. Heck, I would love to be able to do all the good stuff without being responsible for my actions.

And maybe that’s the way life in the U.S. is heading. After all, if we make the mistake, despite health warnings, of starting to smoke, we blame tobacco companies for our cancer. If we load up our car so much that it becomes top heavy, then drive at “normal” highway speeds, we blame the car manufacturers when our car rolls over. If our mortgage rates get reset higher, we blame banks for not giving us adequate warning, or for not making sure that we will be able to make the higher payments before they gave us the mortgage. We expect pharmaceutical companies to rush new drugs onto the market to cure disease, make us feel and look better, and overcome whatever our weaknesses may be, and then blame them for rushing those “happy pills” too quickly to market. If I get fat, it isn’t my fault I eat fast food every day; it’s the fault of fast food makers. And the list goes on.

The problem as I see it isn’t that kids have to grow up too fast, and it never has been. Kids have always wanted to grow up, and have never wanted to take responsibility for their actions. The same can be said for a lot of adults. And it makes sense to feel that way. After all, if I’m not paying attention to my driving, I’d really rather not be held responsible for any accident I might get in.

These days, society doesn’t teach kids to take responsibility for their actions. For example, when I was in elementary school, I was expected to do my homework. I was expected to remember to do my homework. Now, as a parent, I get notes from the teachers telling me to remind my kids to do their homework. When doing one of the myriad of art projects kids do in school these days, as long as they turn in something, it’s “super,” or “wonderful.” If it’s a sloppy mess, that’s just the kid being “creative.” If they’re late to school, it’s my fault. And the result is this: I have two kids that think they should be allowed to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and it’s always somebody else’s fault when things go wrong. Usually mine.

I started writing this post as a response to some of the things said in this article, which talks mostly about cell phones for kids and a statement made by Dr. Ronald B. Herberman, director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute that says, “Limit cell phone use because of the possible cancer risk — especially when it comes to children, whose brains are still developing.” It amazes me to see many parents still arguing that their kids “need” cell phones. Generations of kids haven’t needed them. Generations of kids have “begged” their parents for things that they didn’t need, and parents used to say no when it was in their kids’ best interest to say no. Generations of kids got mad at their parents because of this, and generations of kids got over it. Now, let’s say we give in and let our kids have cell phones, and it turns out the warnings about cancer are true. Who will we blame then?